One more sleep ( if thats what you can call it)

Shopping day today Yayy!! No not really, you cant have fun when you are shopping for clothes for a funeral can you. New suit for Ben. That is no mean feat in itself, when you are a rugby playing prop forward that's built like a brick s***house its a night mare buying a suit off the peg. but the deed is done and gorgeous he looks in it. Jay needed new shoes, high black strappy ( wonder who she takes after). Emmi settled for new accessories. I at the moment am too fat to fit into anything. Ok I know I am not fat but I have put nearly a stone on since Christmas which is a massive amount for me. I think the combination of stress, HRT, and just lately trying to fill the gaping hole in my heart with chocolate is not a good one. Now you know and I know that stuffing my face with toffees and chocolate is not going to replace what is missing but it is having a damn good try. All this has contributed to the fact that my arse will not slither into any of my gorgeous clothes, so new kegs were called for. Long lean and black , just for a change. I refrained from buying shoes as I somehow have amassed approx 103 pairs of high black heels. (Ok I exaggerate its maybe 101 pairs). I did have to buy a new black blouse as my bosom ( love that word) seems to have erupted over night and I don't know about you but a gaping cleavage is not a good look at a funeral..

.Now I know a few of you may feel I am being a bit flippant at the moment and that now is not the time to joke. But I have to do what is necessary to get me through tomorrow. I really want to curl up into a ball and scream and cry my eyes out, but I have 4 gorgeous kids who although they are all grown up, still need their mum to be strong and to be there for them. So please excuse me while I deal with my grief in the way that I need to. I remember someone saying to me that you had to lose both parents to become a grown up yourself, and it is only now that I am beginning to realise how true that saying is.

Please note that the studio will be closed for much of the day tomorrow. Due to the kindness of my friends the children's art class and the regular Tuesday night ladies class will be running as normal. Thanks girlies.

If anyone who knew mum would like to come along and pay your respects the service is at Harrogate Crematorium at 3pm and you will be most welcome.

Hers another of the journal pages I completed on Sunday. This is how I feel. I wish I could slap on some large dark glasses and just run away!!

Tim has been revamping his website. How cool is that???? you need to go over to his website and check out the cool demo videos he now has up. If you want to know how to use any of his products there is a video explaining it for you. Unfortunately there is also the video of his European trip where he is taking the mick out of me. Mario is still in the dog house for that one. The boys are over in Paris next week for the French trade show and I am busy trying to reschedule and arrange flights to spend a day or two with them. No work just pure fun. It is my birthday next week and I think they are just what I need for a pick me up. I know death never happens at a good time, but I have mums funeral this week, my birthday next week and Mothers Day the week after. Nice eh??

Prob wont be up to blogging tomorrow, hope you understand. xx