Thursday, December 2, 2010

This is who I am, like it or not.......

Because I have spent the last few days snowed in, I have had a lot of time to think. You know the old saying...

"You can't please all of the people all of the time"

Well I've realised another...

"You can't please some of the people any of the time"...!!

At the moment most things I say or do seem to be misinterpreted by someone, whenever I open my mouth my size 8 foot goes straight in it as well.!!  I've always felt different from the rest of "normal" society. I don't do the things that others do, and I have come to terms and learnt to embrace that eclectic "difference" that sets me apart. I am tenacious, stubborn, hyperactive, frikkin unbelievably obstinate, difficult, outspoken, honest, easily wounded, opinionated, touchy, un believably unsociable to the point of reclusive, hard working, sarcastic, perfectionist, bulimic, damaged and at times a right arse....
And these things, as Bezzie pointed out to me today are what have enabled me to survive through all the shit I've waded through all these years.
 I am also extremeley faithful, fiercely protective, thoughtful, giving, loving, listening, sharing, quick witted, barking, impulsive, shy, generous, loyal, scaredy cat, frightened of saying the wrong thing and upsetting someone.I don't mean anyone any harm and it would break my heart if I thought I had hurt you.
  All these facets of my personality, good or bad, make me the person I am today. Some will like me, some won't and some won't give a flying frikk either way. What matters is what I feel about me, at the moment its not brilliant, its like trying to walk up an escalator thats going down, but I know this will change.

Relationships, with family, friends or lovers don't always break up because they don't love you anymore. They sometimes break up because they can't cope with you any more..!!! This doesn't mean you should beat yourself up about it. You can only be YOU....I can only be ME...

"We build our walls not to keep people out,
but to see if any one is prepared to climb over them...!"

Some will, but only if you stop kicking the ladder away from under their feet..!!!!

Spending time with yourself is a great leveller, forcing you to meet yourself head on. I',m not painting, journaling, drawing or creating. I am listening. Listening to that inner voice inside of me. It's that long since I paid it any attention that it's really hard to hear, but if I concentrate and listen hard enough I'm sure I will hear its calling to me.

Looking out of the window the other day in the dark, I could see my reflection in the glass. The snow was thick and fast swirling around. It felt as though I was inside a snow globe. How cool would that be? People could pick you up and shake you as hard as they liked, but you would always be protected by the glass, like an invisible coat of armour, and eventually the snow would gradually settle leaving you in a serene state once more. A protective bubble. Not sure if it's protecting me from the outside world, or the outside world from me, lol.

Sooooo day 2 of the Advent challenge. Are you joining in yet? The gorgeous Sandy Poppins has posted her first tag, using my favourite of the sayings.

This is what I pulled for today...

15 mins later heres the result

And heres some more from the Ledger Journal

Firstly this is normally whats in my head

Dylusions paints - purple, pink, black, white
Dylusions spray inks - velvet, granite
Dylusions Mica inks - Silver bells
Dylusions stamps - Around the Edge
Dyans Downloads - head D26, alphabet D15, Alphabet D35,

And this one just feels extremely appropriate for today

Dylusions paints - pink, orange, purple
Dylusions Spray inks - velvet, Hot Pink
Dylusions stamps - Bits and Bats, Doolally Doris, Love Struck Lucy, How does your Garden Grow
Dyans Downloads - glasses D23,
All other images -  altered from magazines

"Always try to be kind, for everyone is fighting some sort of battle..!"

Enjoy xx


Kaz said...

I love your description of being inside a snow globe. Don't be too hard on yourself, you've done an awful lot for a huge amount of people just by being you and creating such fab art.
I sort of joined in your challenge yesterday, but I cheated a bit (well that's who I am LMAO!!! xx

olive said...

people take you as they find you... thats my philosophy. like it or lump it! just be who you are..... loving the pages. keep safe and warm. xxx

Clare with paint in her hair said...

My thoughts on the subject in my journal most supplies for it were bought from you too!

Paper Paradise said...

Well we love ya Dyan, and always will !!!!!!!!!!! Big hugs...... Sue and Paul x

Gerrie Johnnic said...

I'm very much like you in so many ways....this really made me lol and wonder who pissed ya' off....I only met you once at CHA winter, and you were FAB GF, I stood there for hours watching, learning and laughing...with you and at you. so...head up, chest out, belly in and strut your stuff GF, cuz you are the bestest! hugz

ForgedinPaper said...

Your right you can't please some of the people ever but you know there are people out there who you can please some of the time. TBH if we were pleased all the time how would we know the fab from the everyday and the downright rubbish. Love the snow globe must remember that when I've had enough of it all. I know when I read your pages that I'm not the only one with strange stuff going through her head lol. Loving the pages and just keep being you xx

Unknown said...

Well I like ya!
Now what magazines do you buy because you find the coolest piccies???

Kirsten Alicia said...

Wonderful post Dyan, I know exactly where you're coming from. Love the pages & tags.

Angela Weimer said...

Just keep being you. You should be a writer. I love how you describe things. It's just like your art colourful and "Wow". Hope all is well. Have a good day. Angela

Kirsti said...

Yeah I have strange stuff exactly like that going thru my head most days!! Sometimes being on your own is too much and sometimes it's not enough!! Take care of you....xx

Unknown said...

Sending huge hugs x You have always been my great inspiration Dy and Im grateful for every minute I have been able to spend in your company, soaking up your crazy ideas and trying to become a better crafter through them x You are right - you cant please everyone but you have a gift you share daily with those who love you and your art x Hold that thought xx Janet

Rhayne said...

Love the wall quote!

Don't beat yourself up. You are well liked by hundreds (thousands) and well loved by a fair few, too :o)

I don't know you but... *hugs*... I'm a huggy sort of woman. They always make things more bearable.

Sandra Hall said...

We are all complex, messy human beings, and when you blog like this, you open a door for many of us, that enables us to join you on a journey of self discovery and artistic therapy through our journaling. That's powerful stuff Dyan. I am thankful that you are in my life.
Re the pages, well, they are just fabulous, that ledger journal going to be a legend!

thekathrynwheel said...

Well I love ya!
Just blogged my second tag (thanks to a snow day yesterday yippee!) Not sure if I can keep this pace up all through December - you know I am a natural slow coach ....

Jude said...

Wouldn't change you for the world. xx

Darcy Marshall said...

Aww love that had me a bit choked, you are loved my more ppl than you could ever know honey, don't sweat

Anonymous said...

There are so many traits to your personality that mirror traits in mine, yet there are profound differences too. I can relate to so much of what you say, and I totally understand how you feel in certain circumstances. But at the end of the day, regardless of how we feel and how we feel others perceive us, WE ARE WHO WE ARE. Why is it soooooo difficult to just accept that?

As Sand said, I am also glad that you are in my life, and I have Sand to thank for that. I admire you, respect you, and am grateful that you are so open with your emotions and thoughts.

Lots of love xxxxxxxxxxx

Ann said...

Life is cyclical - I seem to remember writing this for you some while ago;

WYSIWYG, (or, This is who I am)

Like me for who I am, for
that is who I want to be.
Been there, done that, for many
years - giving what you want of me.

Look who I am behind the
face - the face that tells you I'm fine,
And you'll find I'm not how you
think I am, but what I am is mine.

The time I have reached is in the
now, slowly changing and growing strong.
I live for today, for myself and
my kin, and that is where I belong.


You're one of the BEST, life is too short to worry what small minded people may think.

Ann x

Quote of the Century

"You are an extraordinary woman.

How can you expect anything ordinary to happen to you"

Louisa May Alcott