Thursday, February 26, 2009

Auto pilot is stuck

A strange day today. It is only a week since mum died and there just seems to be so much to do. Maybe that is deliberate so it keeps you too busy to think? But it is extremely difficult to make decisions when you are cruising on auto pilot. What hymns, what flowers, what food, what outfits? Its never ending. And does any of it really matter anyway? My brother printed the Order of Service today and I just wanted to share with you this poem because I think it is really beautiful.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Okay I am going into my craft room now, I am going to get out my paints, mix them with a bit of snivel and a lot of tears and see what appears. It probably wont be pretty but at least it will be from the heart. xx


angie's blogspot said...

Hi Dy what a lovely verse, hope your'e feeling a little better and you take some comfort from those words.
angie x

borgqueen said...

That is so what I admire - it's always from the heart Dy - what you are not able to journal or paint is coming out in different ways and I know I'm not the only one who appreciates and is touched by your honesty.
Just keep being true to you ;o)
Huge huge hugs and a shoulder whenever it is needed for as long as it is needed

Paper Paradise said...

A bit of snivell and a lot of tears, believe it or not, does you good. It's not healthy to bottle up your feelings, you need to let them all out, you will feel better for it. We have been thinking of you all, and continue to do so, you are special to us.

Sue and Paul xxx

Roz said...

What a beautiful poem, I hope you take comfort from these words, I know it will be hard, but please try for your own sake. Remember to take care of yourself.

Paul B said...

Thx for the poem Dyan, it is beautiful and just the thing I needed to read. My heart is heavy at the moment & this just lifts it a little. It gives me a better perspective. I do hope you find the space to art journal or create as I'm sure you know, it can be a great help in moving forward. Sending lots of hugs to you. Take care. Paul xx

Carol Ann said...

Such a lovely poem. Get in that craft room and use all that snivell and tears and create something that you can look at and think of Mum but in a good way full of all the happy memories just they way I'm sure your Mum would want you to remember.

Hugs xxx

Julia Dunnit said...

Your Mum would be reassured to know that you turn to your art to help you through the losing and to help you do the remembering. And thanks for sharing your therapy.

Tontodollydog said...

Beautiful poem - really touched by it . xxx

Unknown said...

you picci is such a lovely do look like your mum ...the poem touched my heart and had a tear too...i hope you find your comfort and crying and snivelll through as many projects..i sure have..i know i dont know you personally and hope you dont mind my getting in take care of yourself and that gorgeous wee one to...... hugs sasyx

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