It is not often that I get all four of my fabulous children in the same room , at the same time. And to see them dressed so smartly, and so I couldn't resist capturing the moment. It may sound odd to some to take photos just before a funeral, but Mum was such a loving Grandma to them all and she would have been delighted to see them looking so wonderful.
Today brought home to me just how "grown - up" they all are now. I was so proud of them today and the way they handled themselves. Although they are all grieving and hurting badly themselves ,they went out of their way , all day,to ensure I was alright.
Big thank you to Mark. He was a big part of my family for a long, long time and Mum was very dear to him. She, in turn, thought the world of him. I am not sure how I and the kids would have got through without him by my side. Thanks babe you done good.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words, I cannot express how much they meant to me. It amazes me the time people have taken to show that they care. I will treasure that for ever. Those of you who have lost their mothers, my heart goes out to you. Those of you still lucky enough not to, go give her a big hug and a kiss and treasure those moments.
I have now become the "head" of my little family and I don't like it. Who am I going to go to when things go wrong? Who is going to tell me everything is all right? Who am I going to go to , to make it all better? I know that "life goes on", but I want it to go backwards, I want to hold her hand one more time and tell her I love her. I want to say all the things I never said and I want to do all things I never did. I want her to know just how much I really loved her and that she was the best Mum and friend that I could ever wish for.
And I want to tell her that I am sorry.