Monday, February 1, 2010

Once a Daddy,s girl, always a Daddy,s girl....!!!

Sooooooooooo I am fading fast tonight. Yet again I didnt get to sleep till 5 this morning. I was raging hot, had the sweats , the shivers, my tummy,s all wrong and I look and feel like s**t. Attractive picture uh..??
I have continued this all day and have managed to sleep in between. I am supposed to doing the write up of the workshops (sorry students) so that Our Ben can get them online (sorry Ben). I am also supposed to be finishing off articles (lots of) for magazines (sorry editors), samples for workshops to photograph (sorry again Ben) . but I am really struggling with my concentration and producing a load of gobnblede gook, so I am giving up. It is taking me all my time to press the like button on Facebook, never mind write intelligently..!! Its ok for you lot you are used to my drivel, but everyone else thinks of me as purely professional ( yeah right..!!!)

Any way I am writing this blg post purely to prove to Kate that I have finished the January challenge. Yes you heard me right, I, Dylan, do solemly swear , that through my illness and jet lag, I have heroically soldiered on... lmao. If you follow this link you can see lots of others glorious, put mine to shame, works.







It isnt a brilliant day anyway today as its 8 years since my hero, my best friend, my protector, my partner in crime - yup thats right my Dad, passed away. It hurts as much now as it did then. Its a different kind of hurt though. Its not that raw animal hurt that you first experience, it is a hurt for all the things unsaid, all the things missed out on, all the ifs, but, and maybes. In the last year I have come so much farther along the path of my journey and a whole new me is emerging. A new Dyan who wasn,t there before, a whole new person,one who he never knew. I have learnt so much about myself, and I wish he was still here to share it with me. I know he is and I know he knows, but I just need to physically, hear him, see him, smell him and hug him so badly. I need him to tell me its allright and that I am doing the right thing, in the right way and that he is still proud of me no matter what ghosts I am unearthing., He is my babe and always will be. Night night God Bless Dad XXX


 

11 comments:

Wrightboysmum said...

Glad Maisie is taking care of you and hope you shift it soon. It sucks being unwell. Fab pages and I love the car stamp at the bottom.

Linda Elbourne said...

Sending you a hug ... and I don't often say much on here ... but that is seriously the best journal page I have ever seen ... I totally LOVE it and it makes me want to start a journal right this very minute!

thekathrynwheel said...

Holy cow! I don't believe my eyes!! Woop woop! You did it :-) Fab it looks too. Now, how about adding it to the Flickr group? (I know, I know I'm such a slave driver, but I had a good teacher LOL!)

Virginia said...

Ah bless you babe that one definitely brought a tear to the eye - feel your pain so much! Put in massive Kleenex order for Friday! The journal pages are absolutely gorgeous, take care of you

Hugs

Jude said...

Hey Dyan, had written you a huge comment but think I will email you instead - on reading it back it was way too emotional for public viewing! Maybe I should save it for the weekend?!? I'll be a blubbering wreck... Feel better soon. xx

Sandra Hall said...

Huggy hugs of the Sandy kind! You are one AMAZING lady. Nuff said!
x x x

kirsticoo said...

Sorry Dyan... I don't even know what to say to you to make it better... where do I start...hope you feel better soon...

Love your calendar pages and well done for keeping up with it especially with all the other stuff going on in your life right now...take care of you...xoxo

olive said...

hope your better soon. My dad has been gone 30+ yrs... doesnt get any better. Big hugs chuck. On to brighter things your January Calender is fabby dabby... keep the faith. Ciao

marit said...

Thanks for sharing this blogpost written right from the heart! My dad's still here - and I'm still his girl - but thinking of him "gone" makes me cold and lonely even before it happens.

Kaz said...

((hugs)) for you missing your dad and I hope you feel better soon. I love your journal pages, I joined in with this and whilst I was doodling the Feb pages, I admit I did think of you and wondered if this was the first step towards 'proper' journalling!! xx

Lesley said...

Fabulous Calendar page. Thinking of you.
Lesley x

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