Because I have spent the last few days snowed in, I have had a lot of time to think. You know the old saying...
"You can't please all of the people all of the time"
Well I've realised another...
"You can't please some of the people any of the time"...!!
At the moment most things I say or do seem to be misinterpreted by someone, whenever I open my mouth my size 8 foot goes straight in it as well.!! I've always felt different from the rest of "normal" society. I don't do the things that others do, and I have come to terms and learnt to embrace that eclectic "difference" that sets me apart. I am tenacious, stubborn, hyperactive, frikkin unbelievably obstinate, difficult, outspoken, honest, easily wounded, opinionated, touchy, un believably unsociable to the point of reclusive, hard working, sarcastic, perfectionist, bulimic, damaged and at times a right arse....
And these things, as Bezzie pointed out to me today are what have enabled me to survive through all the shit I've waded through all these years.
I am also extremeley faithful, fiercely protective, thoughtful, giving, loving, listening, sharing, quick witted, barking, impulsive, shy, generous, loyal, scaredy cat, frightened of saying the wrong thing and upsetting someone.I don't mean anyone any harm and it would break my heart if I thought I had hurt you.
All these facets of my personality, good or bad, make me the person I am today. Some will like me, some won't and some won't give a flying frikk either way. What matters is what I feel about me, at the moment its not brilliant, its like trying to walk up an escalator thats going down, but I know this will change.
Relationships, with family, friends or lovers don't always break up because they don't love you anymore. They sometimes break up because they can't cope with you any more..!!! This doesn't mean you should beat yourself up about it. You can only be YOU....I can only be ME...
"We build our walls not to keep people out,
but to see if any one is prepared to climb over them...!"
Some will, but only if you stop kicking the ladder away from under their feet..!!!!
Spending time with yourself is a great leveller, forcing you to meet yourself head on. I',m not painting, journaling, drawing or creating. I am listening. Listening to that inner voice inside of me. It's that long since I paid it any attention that it's really hard to hear, but if I concentrate and listen hard enough I'm sure I will hear its calling to me.
Looking out of the window the other day in the dark, I could see my reflection in the glass. The snow was thick and fast swirling around. It felt as though I was inside a snow globe. How cool would that be? People could pick you up and shake you as hard as they liked, but you would always be protected by the glass, like an invisible coat of armour, and eventually the snow would gradually settle leaving you in a serene state once more. A protective bubble. Not sure if it's protecting me from the outside world, or the outside world from me, lol.
Sooooo day 2 of the Advent challenge. Are you joining in yet? The gorgeous Sandy Poppins has posted her first tag, using my favourite of the sayings.
This is what I pulled for today...
15 mins later heres the result
And heres some more from the Ledger Journal
Firstly this is normally whats in my head
Dylusions paints - purple, pink, black, white
Dylusions spray inks - velvet, granite
Dylusions Mica inks - Silver bells
Dylusions stamps - Around the Edge
Dyans Downloads - head D26, alphabet D15, Alphabet D35,
And this one just feels extremely appropriate for today
Dylusions paints - pink, orange, purple
Dylusions Spray inks - velvet, Hot Pink
Dylusions stamps - Bits and Bats, Doolally Doris, Love Struck Lucy, How does your Garden Grow
Dyans Downloads - glasses D23,
All other images - altered from magazines
"Always try to be kind, for everyone is fighting some sort of battle..!"